Simplicity, Week 8: Unsubscribing
This week I've been simplifying my inbox. I've been actually opening every piece of mail, deciding whether I want to keep getting that particular update, sales pitch, newsletter, blog, and on and on and on.... and then, very often, scrolling to the bottom and clicking "Unsubscribe." I'm getting closer to only being subscribed to mailing lists I actually want to and will read.
I didn't realize that unsubscribing was simplifying at first. I just got tired of pushing "Delete" twelve times a day on junk email. But in talking with some friends yesterday, I realized that it didn't just clear out the junk from my inbox. It cleared my mind somewhat, too. I no longer need to feel guilty for not reading that newsletter that I've never, ever read. Many of the newsletters I was getting were intentionally trying to make me angry - I suppose as a way of getting me to open them, getting me to take action, getting my attention. But I don't need to deal with that anymore.
Hitting "Unsubscribe" gives me just a twinge of guilt each time: I know that real people put real effort into the material that they email me a dozen times each day. I know (or at least I think) that for some of the political material, just a name on a mailing list actually does make a bit of a difference, even if I don't open the email. But guess what? Nobody has called me to say, "You're ruining my life by getting off our mailing list." Nobody has called me to say, "You're failing to make a difference in the world by getting off our mailing list." Actually, I don't think it makes a bit of difference to them, and it's quite foolish for me to think that it does.
The other foolish thing has been that all of a sudden, my inbox feels very empty. It's ridiculous, but it makes me feel less important, less essential. Doesn't anyone have anything to say to me? I think, when the inbox is empty again. As though the primary measure of my importance is anything except that I am a child of God. And not only that, but it was clearly a false sense of importance, if I was measuring it based on the number of junk emails I had to delete every day. What a stupid illusion.
So, here's to unsubscribing - which, for me, has also meant getting rid of a few more illusions and focusing on what actually is. That's what simplicity does - gets rid of those illusions and brings reality to light. Praise God!
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Thursday, March 19, 2015
5 Things We Learned from the SNAP Challenge
Simplicity, Week 7: SNAP Challenge
Last week, Erik and I took a step I didn't expect. We tried out the SNAP challenge. SNAP is what many of us know as food stamps - it stands for Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program. The challenge is to experience what life is like for our brothers and sisters living on an average daily allowance of $4.15 per person per day. Years ago, we actually did live on a similar budget, but with this difference: We knew we were in college and life would not always be like that. Also, it's been a while since we lived that life, so last week was quite an experience.
Here are some things we learned last week:
1. Read the instructions...
...before you take the challenge (not after, like us). We thought it was $4.00 per person per day (it's actually $4.15), and I assure you that the extra 30 cents a day - 15 cents for each of us - would have made a difference. We also didn't know that we should avoid accepting free food; it's part of my job to eat with folks and that often happens for free, but we would have been more prepared for that if we had read the instructions first.
2. Meat is expensive.
We always knew that, but our meal of spaghetti with hamburger cost over $1.50 per person per meal. Most of our other meals were between 50-75 cents per person per meal.
3. Breakfast is expensive.
Erik eats cereal and I eat fruit, yogurt, and a hard boiled egg. Both meals cost over $1.00 per person per meal. I skipped the coffee that week, and part of me really regrets that; coffee functions as a very mild anti-anxiety medicine for me.
4. There is abundance in communities.
Here's our list of free food from last week:
-We received lunch on Sunday from the church (it was a fundraiser, and we may not have taken sandwiches had we not been able to donate; I'm not sure if that was quite within the rules or not, and we didn't count our donation as part of the food budget.)
-We received dinner on Sunday from my parents - a long-standing tradition that is really wonderful for a pastor family.
-I received lunch on Tuesday at a church potluck (to which I didn't contribute).
-Wednesday was my mom's birthday and we went to dinner with my parents. They insist on paying for those things even when we're not taking the SNAP challenge.
-Thursday dinner was another one at church - this one rotates between families providing dinner, and it wasn't our week.
By this time, we were feeling a little foolish and like we weren't getting the full sense of the challenge. I'm sure we weren't. But this also meant that on Friday evening, we got to invite friends over for dinner, which we paid for (within the SNAP budget). It wasn't a full repayment for all we had received, but it was a wonderful opportunity to pass along the abundance we had experienced - and we wouldn't have been able to do that if we had paid for every one of the other meals.
I don't know how this does or doesn't reflect the life of those living within the SNAP budget, but it drove home for me the reality that life is truly more abundant when we live it together.
5. The margins are very small.
Our budget for the week was $56. We rationed Girl Scout cookies (25 cents for one Samoa or two Thin Mints). I rationed fruit snacks - which normally keep me going at work. I had to eat out once because I was traveling, and I worried because my Taco Bell lunch cost $2.19 instead of our established budget of $2.00.
At the end of the week, we had over $6 to spare. We were amazed! That was not how we expected to end the week. Our big celebration? A few more Girl Scout cookies each.
I'm grateful for the experience, and grateful that it was only a week. And I hope we can keep working to make sure everyone has enough.
Simplicity, Week 8: Honesty
Simplicity in speech is about being honest; being honest even when it's hard; being honest even when it's painful. It's following Jesus, who said, "Let your yes mean yes, and your no mean no" (Matthew 5:37). That's what I'm committing to, starting this week, but certainly not ending this week.
Last week, Erik and I took a step I didn't expect. We tried out the SNAP challenge. SNAP is what many of us know as food stamps - it stands for Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program. The challenge is to experience what life is like for our brothers and sisters living on an average daily allowance of $4.15 per person per day. Years ago, we actually did live on a similar budget, but with this difference: We knew we were in college and life would not always be like that. Also, it's been a while since we lived that life, so last week was quite an experience.
Here are some things we learned last week:
1. Read the instructions...
...before you take the challenge (not after, like us). We thought it was $4.00 per person per day (it's actually $4.15), and I assure you that the extra 30 cents a day - 15 cents for each of us - would have made a difference. We also didn't know that we should avoid accepting free food; it's part of my job to eat with folks and that often happens for free, but we would have been more prepared for that if we had read the instructions first.
2. Meat is expensive.
We always knew that, but our meal of spaghetti with hamburger cost over $1.50 per person per meal. Most of our other meals were between 50-75 cents per person per meal.
3. Breakfast is expensive.
Erik eats cereal and I eat fruit, yogurt, and a hard boiled egg. Both meals cost over $1.00 per person per meal. I skipped the coffee that week, and part of me really regrets that; coffee functions as a very mild anti-anxiety medicine for me.
4. There is abundance in communities.
Here's our list of free food from last week:
-We received lunch on Sunday from the church (it was a fundraiser, and we may not have taken sandwiches had we not been able to donate; I'm not sure if that was quite within the rules or not, and we didn't count our donation as part of the food budget.)
-We received dinner on Sunday from my parents - a long-standing tradition that is really wonderful for a pastor family.
-I received lunch on Tuesday at a church potluck (to which I didn't contribute).
-Wednesday was my mom's birthday and we went to dinner with my parents. They insist on paying for those things even when we're not taking the SNAP challenge.
-Thursday dinner was another one at church - this one rotates between families providing dinner, and it wasn't our week.
By this time, we were feeling a little foolish and like we weren't getting the full sense of the challenge. I'm sure we weren't. But this also meant that on Friday evening, we got to invite friends over for dinner, which we paid for (within the SNAP budget). It wasn't a full repayment for all we had received, but it was a wonderful opportunity to pass along the abundance we had experienced - and we wouldn't have been able to do that if we had paid for every one of the other meals.
I don't know how this does or doesn't reflect the life of those living within the SNAP budget, but it drove home for me the reality that life is truly more abundant when we live it together.
5. The margins are very small.
Our budget for the week was $56. We rationed Girl Scout cookies (25 cents for one Samoa or two Thin Mints). I rationed fruit snacks - which normally keep me going at work. I had to eat out once because I was traveling, and I worried because my Taco Bell lunch cost $2.19 instead of our established budget of $2.00.
At the end of the week, we had over $6 to spare. We were amazed! That was not how we expected to end the week. Our big celebration? A few more Girl Scout cookies each.
I'm grateful for the experience, and grateful that it was only a week. And I hope we can keep working to make sure everyone has enough.
Simplicity, Week 8: Honesty
Simplicity in speech is about being honest; being honest even when it's hard; being honest even when it's painful. It's following Jesus, who said, "Let your yes mean yes, and your no mean no" (Matthew 5:37). That's what I'm committing to, starting this week, but certainly not ending this week.
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Simplicity, Weeks 5 & 6: Lent Adjustments...
Things never go quite the way they were planned. For instance, the work of the Holy Spirit (this borrowed from maryhomegirl.tumblr.com):
If an expert does not have some problem to vex him, he is unhappy!
If a philosopher's teaching is never attacked, she pines away!
If critics have no one on whom to exercise their spite, they are unhappy.
All such people are prisoners in the world of objects.
How the Holy Spirit works in our lives: Usually unseen...
But sometimes just barely glimpsed:
Unexpected, unplanned.
And so here's my unexpected simplicity story at this point.
Week 5: Lent Adjustments
I planned to fast (from food) for 24 hours each week during Lent, and donate the money. But... things don't always work out the way we plan.
It's become clear that God is not calling me to fast from food right now. I feel weird about that because I've just asked our congregation to try fasting. Weird or not, though, this is my call right now.
But practicing some sort of fasting during Lent is important to me. It's a way to remember that this is a special time, a time set apart from the rest of the year. It's a way to remind me that even right now as I'm sitting at my computer, the Holy Spirit is probably dancing behind me.
So instead of fasting from food, I'll be fasting from television on the Sabbath each week (thanks Austin for the idea). So far I'm LOVING it. I like watching TV, I love the stories and I love the creativity, and I love imagining a different world a little bit at a time. But it's easy to get sucked in. So during Lent, on Fridays, no TV. Sometimes simplicity means getting rid of the extra noise, allowing ourselves to enter the (somewhat scary) spaces of quiet. The spaces that we normally fill by turning to a screen.
Week 6: The Active Life
If you're counting, you know that I didn't post last week. I was discerning the whole Lent thing and didn't find my way until the end of the week, so I decided to do two posts in one this week.
This week's practice is reading The Active Life by Parker Palmer. We're reading it for one of the groups at church, and I've rarely found a book that holds these two things together so well:
- It is amazingly encouraging and uplifting. It's a book that says: you can do it, simply trust your gifts and the grace of God. (Simplicity doesn't necessarily mean doing less stuff, but doing the things that are most central to who you are and to your calling from God. This book encourages that.)
- I believe it.
I believe it because it looks at the shadow side of our actions - the motivations that come from fear and shame and seeking after power. It moves into and through those darker motivations and desires - not to say that we shouldn't act, but to help us be more free (and simple) in our actions. It's not just encouraging - it's encouraging and honest, and so I believe the encouragement.
For instance, Palmer uses the poem "Active Life" by Chaung Tzu to explore the shadow side of acting. Here's the poem:
"Active Life" (as quoted in The Active Life by Parker Palmer)
If an expert does not have some problem to vex him, he is unhappy!
If a philosopher's teaching is never attacked, she pines away!
If critics have no one on whom to exercise their spite, they are unhappy.
All such people are prisoners in the world of objects.
He who wants followers, seeks political power.
She who wants reputation, holds an office.
The strong man looks for weights to lift.
The brave woman looks for an emergency in which she can show bravery.
The swordsman wants a battle in which he can swing his sword.
People past their prime prefer a dignified retirement, in which they may seem profound.
People experienced in law seek difficult cases to extend the application of laws.
Liturgists and musicians like festivals in which they parade their ceremonious talents.
The benevolent, the dutiful, are always looking for chances to display virtue.
She who wants reputation, holds an office.
The strong man looks for weights to lift.
The brave woman looks for an emergency in which she can show bravery.
The swordsman wants a battle in which he can swing his sword.
People past their prime prefer a dignified retirement, in which they may seem profound.
People experienced in law seek difficult cases to extend the application of laws.
Liturgists and musicians like festivals in which they parade their ceremonious talents.
The benevolent, the dutiful, are always looking for chances to display virtue.
Where would the gardener be if there were no more weeds?
What would become of business without a market of fools?
Where would the masses be if there were no pretext for getting jammed together and making noise?
What would become of labor if there were no superfluous objects to be made?
Produce! Get results! Make money! Make friends! Make changes!
Or you will die of despair!
What would become of business without a market of fools?
Where would the masses be if there were no pretext for getting jammed together and making noise?
What would become of labor if there were no superfluous objects to be made?
Produce! Get results! Make money! Make friends! Make changes!
Or you will die of despair!
Those who are caught in the machinery of power take no joy except in activity and change - the whirring of the machine! Whenever an occasion for action presents itself, they are compelled to act; they cannot help themselves. They are inexorably moved, like the machine of which they are a part. Prisoners in the world of objects, they have no choice but to submit to the demands of the matter! They are pressed down and crushed by external forces, fashion, the market, events, public opinion. Never in a whole lifetime do they recover their right mind! The active life! What a pity!
This comes pretty early in the book. Doesn't it make you curious - how could a book that encourages, that celebrates, that recognizes the value of an active life, include this poem? Palmer's writing admits the truth in this poem, and still comes to a place that values right action, action that flows from the center of who we are, that flows from who we are created and called to be. That's another way of describing simplicity: Simplicity is acting out of the center of who we are. Simplicity is acting out of who we are created and called to be. Though the word "simplicity" isn't prominent in this book, the book is about simplicity.
So I'm going to read this book... and then maybe read it again. And maybe again. I may keep reading this book all year. It's one of the best books I've ever read, and it's a book I need to keep coming back to.
How is God calling you to simplify your life?
Happy simplifying!
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